Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
