Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
