dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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