shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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