Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
