I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
