Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
