On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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