your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
