kristin has been a bad kristin
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
