Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
