im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
