3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
