just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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