Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
