drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
