So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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