New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
