I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
