apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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