talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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