so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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