I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
