Just cropdusted the office
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I deserve this hangover.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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