i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
