that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
