it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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