Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
