well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
