feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
