batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
