Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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