he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
