I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
