Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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