Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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