The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
These tits shall not be calmed
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
