I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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