i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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