if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
