i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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