That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
