Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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