How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
