Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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