im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
