You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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