WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
