he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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