i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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