Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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