TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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