I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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